Introduction
What this book will help
you to achieve?
Get out of a mental rut, think new
thoughts, acquire new visions,
discover new ambitions.
Make friends quickly and easily.
Increase your popularity.
Win people to your way of thinking.
Increase your influence, your
prestige, your ability to get things
done.
Handle complaints, avoid
arguments, keep your human
contacts smooth and pleasant.
Become a better speaker, a more
entertaining conversationalist.
Arouse enthusiasm among your
associates.
This book has done all these things for
more than ten million readers in
thirty-six languages.
About the author
Dale Carnegie was an American
writer and lecturer, and the developer
of courses in self-improvement,
salesmanship, corporate training,
public speaking, and interpersonal
skills.
One of the core ideas in his books is
that it is possible to change other
people's behavior by changing one's
behavior towards them.
In this summary
In this summary, you will get to know
about the most important
lessons from the book: how to win
friends and influence people.
I already know you will enjoy reading
this summary.
Because this book is still in print even
after the death
of Mr. Dale Carnegie in 1955.
Contents
Part 1
Fundamental techniques in
handling people.
“If you want to gather honey
Don't kick over the beehive”.
The biggest secret dealing with
people.
“He who can do this has the
whole world with him.
He who cannot walks a lonely way.”
Part 2
Six ways to make people like you
Do this and you’ll be welcome
everywhere.
A simple way to make a good
first impression.
If you don’t do this, You are
headed towards trouble.
An easy way to become a
good conversationalist.
How to Interest people.
How to make people like
you instantly.
Part 3
How to win people to your way
of thinking.
You can’t win an argument.
A sure way of making enemies-
and how to avoid it.
If you’re wrong’ Admit it.
A drop of honey.
The secret of Socrates.
The safety valve in handling
complaints.
How to Get cooperation.
A formula that will work
wonders for you.
What everybody wants.
10. An appeal that everybody likes.
11. The movies do it. TV does it.
Why don,t you do it?
12. When nothing else works,
try this.
Part 4
Be a leader: How to change people
without giving offense or Arousing
resentment.
If you must find fault, This is the
way to begin.
How to criticize - and not to be
hated for it.
Talk about your own mistakes first.
No one likes to take orders.
Let the other person save face.
How to spur people on to success.
Give a dog a good name.
Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Making people Glad to do what
you want.
Book summary
Part 1
Fundamental techniques in
handling people.
If you want together honey
don't kick over the beehive.
An animal rewarded for good
behavior will learn much more
rapidly and retain but it learns
far more effectively than an
animal punished for bad behavior
same applies to humans.
Don't criticize them, they are just
what we would do under similar
circumstances.
Principle 1: Don't criticize condemn
or complain.
2) Secret of dealing with people.
The only way I can get you to do
anything is by giving what you want.
The deepest urge in human nature
is the desire to be important.
Things most people want include
health and preservation of life,
food money, and the things money
will buy, sexual gratification,
sleep, the well-being of our children
a feeling of importance.
Lincoln once said "everybody likes
a compliment"
"The deepest principle in human
nature is the craving to be
appreciated."
The desire for a feeling of
importance is one of the chief
differences between mankind and
animals.
Schwab, “the greatest asset I
possess and the way to develop
the best that is in a person is by
appreciation and encouragement.
There is nothing else that so kills
the ambitions of a person
as criticism from superiors.
Never criticize anyone.
Be anxious to praise but loath to
find fault.
If I like anything I am hearty in my
appreciation and lavish in my praise.
When a study was made a few
years ago on runaway wives
they discovered that the main
reason why wives run away was
" lack of appreciation" we often
take our spouses so much for
granted that we never let them
know we appreciate them.
People who think they had
committed a crime if they let their
familiesor employees go for six
days without food but they will let
them go for six days and six weeks
and sometimes sixty years without
giving them the hearty appreciation
that they crave almost as much as
they crave food.
Difference between appreciation
and flattering.
One is sincere and the other is
insincere, one comes from the
heart out, the other comes from
the teeth out, one is selfish the
other is unselfish one is
universally admired other is
universally condemned.
A wise person said, “Don’t Be
afraid of the enemies who attack
you be afraid of the friends who
flatter you.”
King George V said "teach me
neither to proffer nor receive cheap
praise"
Honest appreciation got results
where criticism and ridicule failed.
Emerson said, " every man I meet
is my superior in some ways in
that I learn of him."
Conclusion- let’s stop thinking of our
accomplishments our wants,let's try to
figure out the other person's good
points then forgot flattery,
give honest sincere appreciation.
Be hearty in your approbation and
lavish in your praise and people will
cherish your words.Treasure them and
repeat them over a lifetime,
repeat them years after you have
forgotten them.
Principle 2: Give honest and sincere
appreciation.
3) He who can do this has the
whole world with himhe who
cannot walks a lonely way.
The only way to influence people
is to talk in terms of what the other
person wants.
If there is any one secret of success,
it lies in the ability to get the other
person's point of view and see
things fromthe person's angle as
well as from your own.
If a salesperson can show us how
their services or products will help
us solve our problems they don't
need to sell us, we will buy and,
customers like to feel that they
are buying not being sold.
The world is full of people who
are grabbing and self-seeking
so the individual who and selflessly
tries to serve othershas an
enormous advantage.
First, arouse in other people an
eager want,
“he who can do this has the
whole world with him
he who cannot walks a lonely way.”
“William winter” once remarked that
"self-expression is the dominant
necessity of human nature."
Principle 3 Arouse in the other
person an eager want.
Part 2
Six ways to make people like you.
1) Do this and you will be welcome
everywhere
You can make more friends in two
months by becoming interested
in other people than you can in
two years by trying to get other
people interested in you.
People are not interested in you
they are interested in me.
They are interested in themselves.
The New York telephone company
made a detailed study of telephone
conversations to find which word is
the most frequently used you have
guessed it it is the personal pronoun
"I". It was used over 3900 times in
500 telephone conversations.
It is the individual who is not
interested in his fellow man who
has the greatest difficulties in
life and provides the greatest injury
to others.
Genuinely interested in other people
is a most important quality
for a salesperson to possess for any
person for that matter.
We are interested in others when
they are interested in us.
A show of interest as with every
other principle of human relations
must be sincere it must be of not
only for the person showing
interest but for the person receiving
the attention it is a two-way
Street both parties benefit.
Principle 1- Become genuinely
interested in other people.
2) A simple way to make a good
first impression.
The expression one wears on
one's face is far more important
than the clothes when we as on
one's back.
People who smile tend to manage,
teach and sell more effectively
and to raise happy children.
You must have a good time
meeting people if you expect them
to have a good time meeting you.
If you don't feel like smiling? Then
what? Two things. First,force
yourself to smile if you are alone,
force yourself to hum a tune
or sing act as if you were already
happy, and that will tend to make
you happy, here is a way the
psychologist and philosopher
“William James” suggests.
"Action seems to follow feeling
but really action and feeling
go together, and by regulating the
action which is under the more
direct control of the will we can
indirectly regulate the feeling
which is not.
Happiness doesn't depend on
outward condition it depends on
the inner condition.
It isn't what you have or you are
or where you are or what you are
doing that makes you happy or
unhappy. It is what you think about it.
Lincoln once remarked that most
"folks are about as happy as they
make up their minds to be".
Thought is supreme. Preserve the
right mental attitude
-the attitude of courage, frankness,
and good cheer.
An ancient Chinese proverb -
"a man without a smiling face
must not open a shop"
Principle 2 - smile.
3) If you don't do this you are
headed for trouble
Jim Farley discovered early in
life, that the average person is
more interested in his or her own
name than in all the other names
on the earth put together.
Remember that name and call it
easily and you have paid a subtle
and very effective compliment but
forget it or misspell it
- and you have placed yourself at
a sharp disadvantage.
The policy of remembering and
honoring the names of his friends
and business associates was one
of the secrets of Andrew Carnegie's
leadership.
Franklin D. Roosevelt knew that
one of the simplest, most obvious,
and most important ways of gaining
goodwill was by remembering
names and making people feel
important.- Yet how many of us
do it?
One of the first lessons a politician
learns is this: "To recall a voter
name in a statement ship to
forget it is oblivion
."And the ability to remember
names is almost as important
in business and social contacts
as it is in politics.
We should be aware of the magic
contained in the name and realize
that this single item is wholly and
completely owned by the person
with whom we are dealing and
nobody else.
Principle 3- Remember that a person's
name is to that person the sweetest
and most important sound in any
language.
4) An easy way to become a good
conversationalist.
Exclusive attention to the person
who is speaking to youis very
important. Nothing else is so
flattering as that.
Listening is just as important in
one's home life as in the world of
business.
Many people fail to make a
favorable impression because
they don't listen attentively. "They
have been so much concerned with
what they are going to say next that
they do not keep their ears open.
Very important people have told me
that they prefer good listeners
to good talkers but the ability to listen
seems better than almost any
other good trait.
As the reader's digest month said,
many people call doctors when
they all want an audience.
Ask questions that other persons
will enjoy answering and encourage
them to talk about themselves and
their accomplishments.
Remember that the people you are
talking to are 💯 times more
interested in themselves and their
wants and problems than they
are in you and your problems.
Principle 4- Be a good listener and
encourage others to talk
about themselves.
5) How to interest people.
Whenever Roosevelt expected
a visitor, he set up late the
night before reading up on the
subject in which he knew his
guest was particularly interested.
Principle 5- Talk in terms of other
people's interests
6) How to make people like you
instantly
Always make the other person
feel important.
William James said, "The deepest
principle in human nature is the
craving to be appreciated."
It is this urge that has been
responsible for civilization itself.
Jesus has said, "do unto others
as you would have others do
unto you."
"Talk to people about themselves,”
said Disraeli, one of the shrewdest
men who ever ruled the British empire.
"Talk to people about themselves
and they will listen for hours."
Principle 6 - Make the other person
feel important and do it sincerely
Part 3
How to win people to your way
of thinking.
1) You can't win an argument.
You can't win an argument. You
can't because if you lose it,
you lose it; and if you win it, you
lose it. Why? Well, suppose you
triumph over the other man and
shoot his argument full of holes
and prove that he is non-compos
mentis. Then what? You feel fine.
But what about him? you have made
him feel inferior. You have hurt
his pride he will resent your triumph.
A man convinced against his will,
Is of the same opinion still.
Ben Franklin used to say:
“If you argue and rankle and
contradict, you may achieve a
victory sometimes; but it will be
an empty victory because you will
never get your opponent's goodwill.”
Buddha said "Hatred is never
ended by hatred but by love",
and a misunderstanding is never
ended by an argument but by tact,
diplomacy, conciliation, and a
sympathetic desire to see the other
person's point of view.
In an article in bits and pieces, some
suggestions are made on how to keep
a disagreement from becoming
an argument:
Welcome the disagreement
If there is some point you haven't
thought about, be thankful if it is
brought to your attention.
Perhaps this disagreement is your
opportunity to be corrected before
you make a serious mistake.
District trust your first
instinctive impression
Our first natural reaction in a
disagreeable situation is to be
defensive,be careful, keep
calm and watch out for your
first reaction; it may be you at
your worst, not your best.
Control your temper
Remember you can measure the
size of a person by what makes
him or her angry.
Listen first
Give your opponent a chance to
talk, let them finish, do not resist,
defend or debate this only raises
barriers. Try to build bridges of
understanding, don't build higher
barriers of misunderstanding.
Look for areas of agreement
When you have heard your
opponents out, dwell first on the
points and areas on which you
agree.
Be honest
Look for areas where you can
admit error and say yes, apologize
for your mistakes. It will help
disarm your opponents and reduce
defensiveness.
Promise to think over your
opponent's ideas and study
them carefully.
Your opponent may be right,
think about it.
Thank your opponent sincerely
for their interest
Think of them as people who really
want to help you, and you may
return your opponents into friends.
Postpone action to give both
sides time to think through the
problem.
Think carefully before your decision
and also keep in mind the point
told by your opponent.
"When one yells, the other should listen
-because when two people yell,
there is no communication, just noise,
and bad vibrations."
Principle 1: The only way to get the
best of an argument is to avoid it.
2) A sure way of making enemies
-And how to avoid it.
Never begin by announcing "I am
going to prove so-and-so to you".
That's bad. It arouses your position
and makes the listener want to
battle with you before you even start.
Galileo said
"You cannot teach a man anything.
You can only help him to find it
within himself"
Be wiser than other people if you
can but do not tell them so.
Socrates said, “one thing only I
know, and that is I know nothing.”
You will never get into trouble by
admitting that you may be wrong.
That will stop all arguments and
inspired your opponent to be just
as fair and open and broad-minded
as you are, it will make him want to
admit that he too may be wrong.
We sometimes find ourselves
changing our minds without any
resistance or heavy emotion,
but if we are told we are wrong we
resent the imputation and harden
our hearts.
It is obviously not the ideas
themselves that are dear to us,
but our self-esteem which is
threatened.
We like to continue to believe
what we have been accustomed to
accept as true, and the resentment
aroused when the doubt is cast
upon any of our assumptions lead
us to seek every manner of excuse
for clinging to it the result is that
most of our so-called reasoning
consists in finding arguments for
going on believing as we
already do.
When we are wrong, admit it to
ourselves, and if we are handled
gently and tactfully we may admit
to others, and even take pride in
our frankness and broad-
mindedness. But not if someone
else is trying to ram the unpalatable
fact down our esophagus.
Jesus said, "Agree with thine
adversary quickly"
The King of Egypt said, "don't argue
with your customer or your
spouse or your adversary.
Don't tell them they are wrong,
don't get them stirred up, use a little
diplomacy.
Principle 2: Show respect for the other
person's opinions.
3) If you are wrong, admit it.
Any fool can try to defend his or
her mistakes- and most fools do
but it raises one above the herd
and gives one a feeling of
nobility and exultation to admit
one's mistakes.
What could you say to a man
who threatened you like that?
When we are right, let's try to
win people gently and tactfully in
our way of thinking, and when
we are wrong- and that will be
surprisingly often we if we are
honest with ourselves -let's
admit our mistakes quickly and
with enthusiasm.
Remember the old proverb,
"By fighting you never get
enough but by building you
get more than you expected".
Principle 3
If you are wrong, admit it
quickly and emphatically.
4) A drop of honey
If a man's heart is wrangling with
discord and ill-feeling towards you,
you can't win him to your way of
thinking with all the logic in
Christendom. Scolding parents and
domineering bosses and husbands
and nagging wives or to realize that
people don't want to change their
minds can't be forced or driven to
agree with you on me.But they may
possibly be led to if we are gentle
and friendly ever so gentle and
ever so friendly.
Lincoln said "a drop of honey
catches more flies than a gallon
of gall"
so with men if you would win a
man to your cause, convince him
that you are his sincere friend.
There is a drop of honey that
catches his heart which says what
you will do is the great high road is
the reason.
The sun can make you take off
your coat more quickly than the
wind; and kindness, friendly
approach and appreciation can
make people change their minds
more rapidly than all the bluster
and storming in the world.
Remember what Lincoln said
"a drop catches more flies than
a gallon of gall"
Principle 4 - Begin in a friendly
way
6) The safety valve in handling
complaints.
If anyone is complaining to you,
listen patiently and win when open
mind is sincere about it encourage
them to express their ideas fully.
A French philosopher said,
"if you want enemies, excel
your friends but if you want
friends let your friends excel
you."Because when our
friends excel us they will feel
importantwhen we excel them
they or at least some of them
will feel inferior and envious.
Principle 6 - Let the other person do
a great deal of talking
7) How to get cooperation
No one likes to feel that he or she
is being sold something or told to
do a thing. We much prefer to feel
that we are buying of our own
accord or acting on our own ideas
we like to be consulted about
our wishes, our wants, and our
thoughts.
Lao Tse Chinese sage said some
things that readers might use today
“The reason why rivers and seas
receive the homemade of hundred
mountain streams is that they keep
below them thus they are able
to resign overall mountain streams.”
Principle 7- Let the other person feel
that the idea is his or hers
8) A formula that will work
wonders for you.
Remember that other people may
be totally wrong. But they don't
think so, don't condemn them,
any fool can do that. Try to
understand them only wise,
tolerant, exceptional people
even try to do that.
There is a reason why the other
man thinks and acts as he does
-ferret out that reason and you
have the key to his actions perhaps
to his personality.
Dr. Gernald S Nirenberg
commented that "cooperative-
-ness in conversation is achieved
when you show that you consider
the other person's ideas and
feeling as important as your own.
Principle 8- Try honestly to see things
from the other person's point
of view.
9) Wat everybody wants.
Three fourth of the people you will
ever meet are hungry and trusting
for sympathy, give it to them and
they will love you.
There is a deep satisfaction of
controlling my temper, the satisfaction
of returning kindness for an insult.
Dr. Arthur said in his splendid book
Educational psychology
"sympathy the human species
universally craves".
The child eagerly displays his
injury or even inflicts a cut or bruise
in order to reach abundant sympathy,
for the same purpose adults show
their bruises, relate their accidents,
illness especially details of
surgical operations. "Self-pity", for
miss fortune, real or imaginary is
in some measure, practically a
universal practice.
Principle 9- Be sympathetic with the
other person's ideas and desires.
10) An appeal that everybody likes.
J.Pierpont Morgan observed, in
one of his analytical interludes,
that A person usually has two
reasons for doing something,
one that sounds good and a
real one.
Principle 10- Appeal to the nobler
motives.
11) The movies do it, TV does it why
don't you do it.
The movies and TV shows makers
know the power of dramatization.
Principle 11- Dramatize your ideas
12) When nothing else works, try this
Charles Schwab says it in his own
words, "the way to get things done,"
says Schwab "is to stimulate
competition" I do not mean in a
sordid, money-getting way but in the
desire to excel", the desire to
excel! The challenge! Throwing
down the gauntlet! An infallible way
of appealing to people of spirit.
Every successful person loves the
game, the chance for self-expression,
the chance to prove his or her work,
to excel, to win. That is what makes
food races and hog calling and pie
-eating contests. The desire to excel,
The desire for a feeling of importance.
Principle 12- Throwdown a challenge.
Part 4
Be a leader: How to change people
without giving offense or Arousing
resentment.
1) If you must find fault, this is the
way to begin.
It is always easier to listen to
unpleasant things after we have
heard some praise for our good
points.
Beginning with praise is like the
dentist who begins his work with
Novocain. The patient still gets the
drilling, but the novocaine is
pain-killing. A leader will use it.
Principle 1:
Begin with praise and honest
appreciation
2) How to criticize -and know to be
hated for it.
Many people begin their criticism with
sincere praise followed by the word
"but" and ending with a critical statement.
The person might feel encouraged until
he heard the word "but".
This could be easily overcome by
changing the world "but" to "and"
Example:
Instead of saying,
"We are really proud of you, Johnnie,
for raising your grades this term.
But if you had worked harder on your
algebra the results would have been
better."
Say
"We are really proud of you, Johnnie,
for raising your grades this term,
and by continuing the same efforts
next term your algebra grade can be
up with all the others."
Calling attention to one's mistakes
indirectly works wonders with
sensitive people who may bitterly
resent any direct criticism.
Principle 2:
Call attention to people's mistakes
indirectly.
3) Talk about your own mistakes first.
Principle 3: Talk about your own
mistakes before criticizing the other
person.
4) No one likes to take orders.
Oven D. Young in her entire life
never gave orders, he always
gave suggestions not orders.
For Example, Young never said
"do this or do that" or "don't do
this or don't do that" he would say
"you might consider this" or
"do you think that would work."
People are more likely to accept
an order if they have had a part
in the decision that caused the
order to be issued.
Principle 4
Ask questions instead of giving
direct orders.
5) Let the other person save face.
Never insult a person in front of
people and if you do that he will
hate you more than anything.
So, let the other person save face
Principle 5:
Let the other person save face
6) How to spur people on to success.
Psychologist Jess Lair comments,
" Praise is like sunlight to the warm
human spirit; we cannot flower and
grow without it."
Principle 6:
Praise the slightest improvement
and praise every improvement.
"Be hearty in your approbation
and lavish in your praise."
7) Give a dog a good name.
"The average person, "said
Samuel vauclain, then president
of the Baldwin locomotive works,
"can be lead readily if you have his
or her respect and if you show that
you respect that person for some
kind of ability".
There is an old saying, “Give a Dog
a bad name and you may as
well hang him but give him a good
name and see what happens".
Principle 7:
Give the other person a fine
reputation to live up to.
8) Make the fault seem easy to
correct.
If you want to help others to improve,
remember...
Principle 8:Use encouragement, make the fault
seems is easy to correct.
9) Making people glad to do what
you want.
Always make the other person happy
about doing the thing you suggest.
An effective leader should keep
the following guidelines in
mind when it is necessary to
change attitudes or behavior:
Be sincere, do not promise anything
that you cannot deliver, forget about
the benefits to yourself and
concentrate on the benefits
to the other person.
Know exactly what it is you want
the other person to do.
Be empathetic and ask yourself
what it is the other person really
wants.
Consider the benefits that person
will receive from doing what you
suggest.
Match those benefits to the other
person's wants
People are more likely to do what
you would like them to do when
you use-
Principle 9: Make the other person
happy about doing the thing
you suggest.
Conclusion
In a nutshell - Fundamental
techniques in handling people.
Principle 1 - Don’t criticize, condemn
or complain.
Principle 2 - Give honest and sincere
appreciation.
Principle 3 - Arouse in the other person
an eager want.
In a nutshell - Six ways to make
people like you.
Principle 1 - Become genuinely
interested in other people.
Principle 2 - Smile
Principle 3 - Remember that a person’s
name is to that person the sweetest
sound in any language.
Principle 4 - Be a good listener.
Encourage others to talk about
Themselves.
Principle 5 - Talk in terms of the other
person’s interests.
Principle 6 - Make the other person
feel important and do it sincerely.
In a nutshell- Win people in your
way of thinking.
Principle 1 - The only way to get the
most out of an argument is to avoid it
.
Principle 2 - Show respect for the other
person’s opinions. Never say, “you are
wrong.”
Principle 3 - If you are wrong, admit it
quickly and emphatically.
Principle 4 - Begin in a Friendly Way.
Principle 5 - Get the other person
saying “yes yes” Immediately.
Principle 6 - Let the other person do
a great deal of talking.
Principle 7 - Let the other person feel
that the idea is his or her.
Principle 8 - Try honestly to see things
from the other person”s point of view.
Principle 9 - Be sympathetic with the
other person’s ideas and Desires
.
Principle 10 - Appeal to the nobler
motives.
Principle 11 - Dramatize your ideas.
Principle 12 - Throw down a challenge.
In a nutshell - Be a Leader, a leader’s
job often includes changing
your people’s attitudes and behavior.
Some suggestions to accomplish this:
Principle 1: Begin with praise and
honest appreciation.
Principle 2: Call attention to people’s
mistakes indirectly.
Principle 3: Talk about your own
mistakes before criticizing the other person
Principle 4: Ask questions instead of
giving direct orders.
Principle 5: Let the other person
save face.
Principle 6: Praise the slightest
improvement and praise every
improvement. “Be hearty in your
approbation and lavish your praise.”
Principle 7: Give the other person a
fine reputation to live up to.
Principle 8: Use encouragement.
Make the fault easy to correct.
Principle 9: Make the other person
happy about doing what you Suggest.
Thank you for reading, I hope you got something out of it
Rishabh
Credits
Book by Dale Carnegie
Summary by summary Pedia
Written and made by Rishabh Kaushal
Other summaries By me:
1) Rich dad poor dad.
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Thankyou, this information is life changing.
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